IF I ONLY HAD A VALENTINE…

Another Valentine Day where I’ll be single. ::waaahhh, waaaahhh, waaahhh:: It doesn’t bother me like it did in high school when everyone was dating and came to school with those enormous Hallmark teddy bears and Russell Stover chocolates. Seriously, it made my skin crawl and by the end of the day I was in hysterics whining about why I was single. Now, 10 years later, I cringe at such melodramatic behavior and somewhat detest myself for ever playing part in it, BUT I won’t deny that having a true blue Valentine is loads of fun, and uber romantique. Especially when you actually like them! So, to feed my growing cynicism, and my Titanic sized romantic alter ego that I keep hidden from the world, I’ve created a list a list of cute, indulgent, and somewhat random pressies, I’d love to be given for this heartfelt holiday – if I had a Valentine.

  1. When you’re traveling, sometimes you want to change your look up. For me, the easiest way is to spend four hours straightening my hair.  Which means bringing only products and tools that I know will work time and time again. T3 is my go to blow dryer, but there is no way I’m trusting TSA with it in my check-in, nor will that hotel dryer suffice. With the recent launch of the T3 Featherweight Compact Dryer ($150), this pink beauty can fit inside my carry-on for the Valentine’s weekend getaway of my dreams.
  2. As cliché as it sounds, there’s nothing more Valentine-y than hearts – no matter how dark the story. Honestly, gift me all hearts everything and you’ll turn this cynic into melted, sweet butter. These flats are apart of the Melissa Ultragirl x Sebastian Errazuriz ($100) limited edition collection, which is an ode to his shoe sculpture “Hot Bitch”. Inspired by his installation Twelve Shoes for Twelve Lovers originally showcased at Melissa’s pop-up shop during Art Basel Miami 2013, the collection sort of has a love story to it as well. Well, it has to do with 12 ex-girlfriends. So “past loves” is a more proper term.
  3. Whoever said,”diamonds are a girl’s best friend,” didn’t know a lot about two things – girls and what best friends were put in your life for. And yes I know it’s just a saying, but can we be serious for a moment… that saying just has so many holes even speaking from the women’s empowerment side out of it, but diamonds?! Have you not heard of rubies, or emeralds, or jades, or amethysts? Why settle for what everyone else is rushing to be given, and demand that lavish, colorful, one-of-a-kind Van Cleef and Arpels statement necklace (price varies)? Or switch out those drab diamonds, for white gold and amethyst Gucci studs ($350) ? True Facetgets it, you should too!
  4. Roses aren’t only red, violets are technically blue, this rhyme has gotten so old, you’d think there would be something new. Flowers are probably the most gifted item for love day, and though my favorite flowers are calla lilies and lotuses, I for some reason kill them. I just forget I have them and never water them, except for last time where they lasted a couple of weeks.Flower Muse is the place for THE flower lover. It has monthly subscriptions so your favorite assortments are sent to you. From tulips to peonies to roses to mini callas to ranunculus to more!
  5. You may remember a while ago we chatted with the founders of the app ThirdLove that measured your bra size by using your phone and a mirror. Now they’ve expanded and carry more sizes than before, but not as many as I’m sure you’re assuming. This is still a very niche operation… they aren’t looking to save all the world’s bra-blems just yet. They have expanded their collection to include some very, v-e-r-y cute sets perfect for lounging around on romantic holidays that happen to fall on a weekend this year. Pictured is the 24/7 Strap Happy Bra ($76) and Strappy Thong($34), but they’ve got fine lace, balconette galore type options as well….so don’t choose on my behalf, by any means.
  6. There’s a collection of watches building in my home as this is being written. With every purchase, I tell myself it’s because I need to tell the time without bringing out my phone. But I will spend 5 minutes in the rain grunting, scavenging through my handbag, with a watch on my wrist, for my phone to find out the time. This doesn’t stop me from collecting watches, especially when they happen to have a pink strap like this Portland from Shore Projects ($175), ideal for Valentine’s!
  7. Give me a candle on any occasion. I live for these things. They smell so delicious, and take me to another world of relaxation, calm, or just clarity. Basically they take me away from the here and now, even when there is so much commotion going on. The Archipelago Paramour Valentine’s Day ($29) candle has pomegranate, papaya, and mango, which sounds like a drink that should be mixed with some shaved ice, Mount Gay Rum, under a warm cabana.
  8. Capture every moment with the least traceable mechanism – a Polaroid camera. Listen, you’re going to do what you want to do and it’s unfortunate we live in a world where we fear our information will be hacked and spread to our loved ones. So, if we must, let’s be careful and have fun the old fashion way. Not because I go around being super inappropriate, but I have a belfie (butt selfie) hanging on my wall at this exact moment. It was taken at a party/event with a friend, on a POLAROID, so guess what? There are no duplicates. The refurbished 600-type Polaroid camera ($124.49) and Instant Lab film ($24.49) are sold separately, obvi.
  9. So if I received this gift, I wouldn’t be a happy camper. I would be like, “are you calling me forgetful?” “DO you think I only care about selfies?” As I don’t have a Valentine, buying this for myself is a yes. How many times do you lose your keys, phone, or take a selfie in a day. ThisOrbit ($29.95) can you help you find them all when it’s gone. It may be the best thing since sliced bread, because not everyone uses social media, but everyone who has cell phone, keys, or both has misplaced them at some point or another.
  10. Some wise person once said,”You can have too much make makeup, but not enough …” Just kidding, no one ever said that. Well, no one in their right mind who wasn’t afraid to step to me ever said that because you can’t have one without the other. And knowing the importance of being slayed by the beauty Gods, having the proper tools like the Artis Elite Smoke Collection ($350) is everything. You can have the best foundation, mascara, and falsies in the world but if your lip brush is all sorts of crusttastic, we can guarantee you should not be hashtagging your selfie “OnFleek” anytime soon.
  11. Gift boxes are my jam. Insert jam and biscuits and I’m on cloud nine. Neither are in this box, but just in case you thought of sending me one, one day. Anyway, Sweet Whistle ($75) creates ready-made and made-to-order gift boxes for occasions like this where your hoping to be original, thoughtful, and not always over-the-top. You can even add a personalized note and flowers to make it a little extra special.
  12. Don’t you love when people put together kits JUST for that holiday? Yea, I fall for it  too. It makes me want to use it up during that month. Like it was prescribed for that time alone similar to LOVE, Tata: Natural Skincare Valentine’s Gift Collection ($240). It’s brimming with jasmine-scented Smoothing Body Scrub, Lake Champlain’s Cherries & Dark Chocolate Bar, Revitalizing Body Oil, Be Adored Lip Treatment – yes all things we can use in March but how dare you even think such blasphemy – why not treat your body to TLC everyday for the remaining days of February? P.S. Only 100 of these were made, so peep that for exclusivity.